“One-sided friendships are characterized by one person doing significantly more than their fair share of the ‘heavy-lifting’ within a relationship,” licensed marriage and family therapist Tiana Leeds, M.A., LMFT, adds. “The ‘heavy-lifter’ tends to be the one to initiate communication, make plans to get together, provide support, and generally care more about the friendship.” If your friend is unaware of how you’re feeling (and unaware of their own behavior), she adds, sometimes an honest conversation can be the catalyst for a shift. From there, once you’ve expressed your concerns, it’s on them to make a change. But of course, Nuñez stresses the importance of listening to your intuition and those gut feelings. She suggests asking yourself: Rather than you being the go-to person for this friend’s emotional problems, Nuñez adds, you can create some healthy space and boundaries by not being as readily available or seeing them less than you normally do. Nuñez says that just like with a breakup between partners, this isn’t the time to “ghost” your friend or block them. Again, try to be honest with them. You can use phrases like, “Right now, this friendship just isn’t working for me,” or “This friendship isn’t helping me grow.” Friendships are going to come and go, Nuñez says, and the more honest and open you can be, the more you can grow through the experience of the “breakup.” Sometimes an outright breakup isn’t necessary, though, Leeds adds. “Ending the friendship may be as simple as no longer initiating contact or plans as frequently and allowing the connection to naturally fade,” adding that it can be helpful to instead focus on investing your time in friendships that feel fulfilling and mutual. The important thing to remember, Nuñez explains, is that one-sided friendships can be toxic, and once you recognize it, don’t feel guilty if you have to end it. “You can support them from afar—the main thing is taking care of yourself and finding people that help support you.”
