“If he tells you he had a good time and really likes you but takes a week to contact you, it would make sense if you were confused,” says Chamin Ajjan, M.S., LCSW, A-CBT, sex therapist and author of Seeking Soulmate: Ditch the Dating Game and Find Real Connection. This type of pattern might also play out on dating apps, where it’s even more difficult to know where the person stands since you’ve never actually met them. “When it’s time to answer questions that may require vulnerability or exposure, they opt out of participating,” she explains. “This can cause the other person confusion about where the relationship is going.” Staying in relationships like this can lead to emotional stress. “If their behavior negatively affects your mental, emotional, or physical stability, or overall sense of peace and self-worth, then it’s time to assess the value of remaining in the situation,” Cullins says. Overall, mixed signals are not signs that you need to change, but rather the person sending the signals has some inner work to do. Mixed signals can also be the result of an avoidant attachment style, Ajjan adds. Meaning they tend to pull away when a relationship becomes intimate because those feelings of closeness make them nervous.
