In order to have the most fulfilling love life possible, you need to identify which romantic archetype you align with and which love language you speak. You might relate to elements of all five of the archetypes, but we each have one that is more prominent than the others. Knowing your romantic archetype gives you valuable information about how you’re wired to give and receive love. Think of it this way: Your partner might think bringing you flowers is a great way to show you love when what you really respond to is his taking the initiative to do the dishes once in a while. So, you might go through years of frustration, feeling that he just doesn’t “get you,” when in reality it’s kind of your fault for not teaching him what your love language and romantic blueprint is. Gypsy Prototype: Angelina Jolie, Christina Hendricks, Sofia Vergara Pain Points: She doesn’t have a hard time finding romantic partners but does struggle to form long-term romantic bonds and connect on a deeper emotional level. Love Language: Touch, sensuality, and intimacy. She communicates with her body by holding hands, touching her partner when she speaks to him/her, kissing, playing footsie under the table, cuddling, and, of course, sex. Perfect Date: The gypsy is so in touch with her physical body, she doesn’t need a lot of warming up before sex. She is erotic and sensual, so sometimes going straight to the bedroom can be an ideal date. Using feathers and blindfolds to be creative sensually makes the experience much deeper and more intimate. Venus Prototype: Kim Kardashian, Megan Fox, Scarlett Johansson Pain Points: She might need too much validation from external sources, which makes her vulnerable to becoming an object of pleasure instead of experiencing pleasure for herself. For example, an actress client of mine used to fake orgasms. She was more concerned with letting the other person see how amazing she was while she had an orgasm than actually experiencing that pleasure for herself. Love Language: Giving and receiving gifts. She is not afraid to use her femininity or her flirtatious persona to receive gifts and affection. Perfect Date: The perfect date for the Venus is to relax, get out of her head and back into her body, and be able to feel her natural sensuality through luxury. Going out to a nice dinner or ordering a bottle of expensive champagne can help her engage her eye for beauty. Madonna Prototype: Blake Lively, Rosario Dawson, Drew Barrymore Pain Points: Giving love and devotion until it hurts. She often offers too much to get approval, attention, or affection. She often doesn’t speak up and fails to set boundaries, which eventually leads to anger and resentment. If you’re a Madonna archetype, you want to be careful: This type of love can tend toward passive aggression. Though it may seem selfless, she often gives too much or doesn’t set boundaries because she has low self-esteem and is afraid she will be abandoned. Love Language: Acts of love and devotion, such as making meals, taking care of household duties, and doing things to make her partner’s day-to-day grind run smoothly. Perfect Date: The perfect date for the Madonna is to make a nice dinner at home, followed by giving and receiving massages. Love Language: Positive affirmations. You like to be told you are loved, beautiful, smart, etc. You give and like to receive compliments and verbal affirmations of love, respect, and support from your partner. Cool Girl Prototype: Cameron Diaz, Emma Stone, Mila Kunis Pain Points: She’s never seen as erotic, feminine, or sensual. She often gets stuck in the “friend zone.” She gets stuck in the role of the “cool girl” in which she views everything as OK, even if she’s dating or married to someone whose actions don’t make her feel desired or valued. The Cool Girl needs to set some boundaries and project her sexual and sensual self, like the Venus. Love Language: Quality time spent with their partner. The Perfect Date: A perfect date would be hiking or doing something that engages playfulness and games. Or just watching movies at home—Netflix and chill. Related reads: Isadora passed away on March 26, 2017. During her life, Psalm made a name for herself as a bold, outspoken sex, relationships, and trauma expert who lived to inspire the next generation of women. She demystified the ancient secrets of Tantra to make them accessible to the modern masses. Raised in a religious cult as a child, Isadora endured years of sexual trauma that eventually ignited her passion to teach sexual empowerment and modern sex ed. In 2007, Isadora traveled to India to immerse herself in the ancient teachings of Tantra to facilitate deep healing and discover her own path as a healer. For eight years, Isadora traveled to India to delve deeper into the path of Tantra and teach yoga to sex-trafficked women in the red light district of Calcutta, work that would eventually become part of a documentary titled Shakti. She studied the Śrī Vidyā tradition of Tantra under spiritual guru Sri Amritananda (Guruji) in Pradesh, India, and was initiated into Shakti Tantra Yoga. We will miss you, Psalm. You will certainly never be forgotten.
